Be “you” for all your infinite worth, because you were not created to be an extension of anyone else’s beliefs or expectations! … Some people don’t give a damn what anyone else has to say about them or how they are perceived and everyone accepts those people for who they are in that. Meanwhile for people who are held to standards such as the perceived “Good Christian Woman”and told since childhood that more was expected of them from various sources, is there any way for them to be truly authentic to themselves without feeling the need to conform to the expectations of others!
“What have you learnt through the process of accessing your medical files, keeping a detailed symptom journal and collating your own medical history?” This was the question posed to me by a Rheumatologist during 2018 … I also had one question of my own, “Did he really want my honest answer to this question?” Because the truth is, no doctor will ever be prepared to hear my honest answer to this particular question in it’s entirety.
Poem – Nobody Knows
I think the loneliness that comes from a sense of inadequacy and misfittedness is something that everyone has experienced in one way or another throughout their lives, in many ways during many times … Often we view the vulnerability that comes with expressing those feelings of self-doubt, misfittedness and the quirks that make us uniquely ourselves as weaknesses and shortcomings … But I wonder….
From a medical perspective alone, I can’t help but wonder how many people are dismissed and turned away because they don’t allow themselves to look sick enough, complain loudly enough or wince at every pain or uncomfortable sensation felt throughout their body while being poked and prodded by doctors? … No matter how intense their pain or discomfort becomes!
In conclusion to the three car accidents during the 1990s, it would have been nice to walk away from the third and final car accident believing it would all be wrapped up and left in the past once all the legal proceedings had concluded … Unfortunately however, the final car accident during 1996 brought about new challenges of legal complexities, as well as the beginning of a battle against my own body through progressive illness and disability with injuries from the accidents that would be dismissed indefinitely.
It is often thought that for a person to have had one car accident in their lifetime is bad enough, yet quite a normal occurrence given how many of us drive. To have two car accidents in a lifetime is still not bad odds, but the words “bad luck” certainly get thrown around … However, add in a third, and within less than a decade and you really do begin to wonder just who in the universal grand scheme of things has got it in for you. Especially if every single one of those accidents is not your doing and completely unavoidable.